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Scene: The Junkyard; Skimble, Tumble and Pounci asleep, Munku talking with Demeter and Mungo, Mima and Lectra and Etc. and Vicki huddled in group, whispering.
Jemima: So, did everyone do what they were s'posed to?
Munkustrap: *notices kittens running off* I wonder where they're going. Should I send Jenny after them?
*Rumpleteazer enters The Junkyard, stage right*
*all nod eagerly*
Jemima: Good! Everyone to their positions. Ten-HUT!
Electra: *giggles* What's that supposed to mean?
Jemima: I don't know. I saw it on some movie with lots of people wearing green and black.
Electra: *shrugs* All right, whatever you say.
*kittens disperse to various locations*
Demeter: Why? They've never run into much trouble before. *nuzzles Munku*
Mungojerrie: *grins, nods to himself* 'Orry, Ois gotta gao.
*Mungo leaves, Dem and Munku absently wave paws*
Rumpleteazer: 'Onder 'y is so 'esaerted todae.
*giggle sounds from Etcy, Mungo reflexively shushes her*
Rumpleteazer: *looks around warily* Oy! 'As 'at 'ou, Mungo? *edges closer to Munku and Dem*
*shout comes from all corners of the junkyard; paper towel rolls fly across a near-invisible wire across the Junkyard centre, forming a type of tent*
Rumpleteazer: *shrieks and runs closer to Munku*
*paper towels begin glowing black*
Demeter: MACAVITY! MACAVITY! MACAVITY! MACAVI -
Munkustrap: Demeter! Since when does Macavity throw paper towel rolls across the Junkyard?
*Tumble and Pounci wake up with a start*
Tumblebrutus: *nudges Skimble* Skimble - WHERE IS SKIMBLE?!!!!!!
Skimble: *leaps ten feet in the air* All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's - what? Huh? This isn't the Jellicle Ball, nor is my train here. *falls back asleep*
Pouncival: *laughs, then cuts it short when he looks around* Yipe! What did that?!
Munkustrap: We're trying to figure that out. *searches for kittens to push between his legs, notices they aren't there* Hey! Where've all my kittens gone?!
Demeter: *sends him a Look* YOUR kittens?
Munkustrap: *blushes* You know I didn't mean it like that!
*Pounci's spotlight shines from the depths of the pipe, points at Rumpleteazer*
Pouncival: Hey! That's mine!
Rumpleteazer: *yelps*
Vaguely feminine voice: Walk into the light . .*deep and ominous - giggles sound from all sides*
*Teazer's male side gets the best of her, she begins walking*
Demeter: *gasps* Teazer! Come back!
Pouncival: *can't get the idea out of his head* Where'd it get MY spotlight?!!
Tumblebrutus: *glares at Pounci*
*creaking noise is heard, blacklight falls through the paper towels, all Cats jump back*
Electra: Oops.
*spotlight is dropped, Pounci runs to pick it up*
Pouncival: My poor dear. Were you hurt? *turns spotlight over and over, nuzzling it*
Tumblebrutus: *looks at Pounci like he just grew another tail . . AND three more ears . . AND another paw . . .*
*four dark shapes run across the centre, and leap up beside the rocking chair, meeting another dark shape*
Munkustrap: *musters courage and walks over to the group* Who are you . . lessee . . one, two, three, four . . Who are you five . . *examines outlines* Cats?
Victoria: Whoopsy.
Electra: Whoops.
Etcetera: Woops.
Jemima: Oops.
Mungojerrie: 'Ops.
*Dem begins tearing down paper towels, light floods through*
Pouncival: *carefully turns off spotlight, snuggles more, runs off through pipe*
Tumblebrutus: *stares after Pounci as if he'd seen a ghost*
*light now clearly shows the four guilty kittens and one guilty Tom*
Munkustrap: So it WAS you five.
Mungojerrie: *nods slowly*
Etcetera: *looks up* That was fun! Let's do it again!
All Jellicles except Etc.: *GLAARE!!!!*
Etcetera: *shrinks back*
Rumpleteazer: *approaches* 'At 'ere 'ou tryin' o' do?! Scare mae 'o death?!
Demeter: I thought you were Macavity.
All: WE HEARD!!
Exotica: *does nothing*
Exotica: *does nothing*
Exotica: *does nothing*
Jemima: We had been coming up with a plan for weeks, Teazer. We thought we would try to lure you away so that we could get you to help Mungo steal this really neato! Neato! Neato! Neato! Neato! Nea--
Victoria: MIMA!
Jemima: *sheepishly* Sorry. I like that word. Neato! Well, anyway, steal this Neato! thing we saw in a house we went past. Mungo didn't think - Neato! - you'd go along, since it wasn't pretty, shiny or useful.
Rumpleteazer: Well, Mungo was wrong. When can we start?
Victoria: Well, first I wanna go vote in some polls --
Rumpus Cat: *jumps out of nowhere* POLLICLE?! Where?!
All: *GLARE!!*
*Rumpus sneaks back out*
Tumblebrutus: No more insanity! I WANT OUT!! I MUST DEAL WITH THIS EVERY DAY I CAN'TTAKEANYMORELETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT - *continues for some time*
Munkustrap: Okay. *shrugs* *runs out, returns with sign saying*
HAIL ALL POLLICLES!!!
Demeter: Umm . . . Munku? Dear? The sign . .
Munkustrap: *looks at sign, begins to blush* Oops. *turns sign around* NOW, the sign says:
THE END
Tumblebrutus: I'm glad that's over.
Elaine Paige: *whispers from offstage* Yes, it's over, CLEAR THE STAGE!! Fergus, please.