Conflict of Interests
by Mevima

Rating: G
Warnings: Bad bagpipe playing, Tugger-bashing

It was like a thousand nails being scratched across a thousand blackboards, much as that
 phrase is overused. It was worse than glass breaking, or the terrified scream of someone
 very egocentric about to get purple kiwis splashed in their fur. Hard rock sounded like a
 whisper next to it. Even the annoying sound of twelve people sending you messages at the
 same time couldn't match the intensity of this one sound.

"Tugger, cut it out or I'm going to smash that stupid instrument and let the Pollicles at
 it!" Jellylorum screamed at the oblivious Maine Coon.

The screeching sound of the makeshift bagpipes being played improperly was suddenly cut off
 as Jellylorum stalked up and slammed her claws into the part filled with air - which
 happened to be made out of a football - knocking it out of Rum Tum Tugger's paws. He
 blinked down at her indignant stare, jaw slacking slightly as he glanced back and forth
 between her and his ruined bagpipes. "You... you killed it!"

"Face it, you can't play. If you thought attempting to play that horrid excuse for an
 instrument was ever going to get you anything put a faceful of claws, you should have
 handed the thinking over to someone else."

Meanwhile, Tugger had retrieved the bagpipes from the Junkyard ground, and was turning it
 over in his paws. There were several large clawmarks in it. Trying to keep the tremble out
 of his voice - it wouldn't do to see the Curious Cat cry, but that was his favourite shiney
 thing, dammit! - he replied, "But the kittens fainted when I played it... but it's got
 holes in it now..."

Deceptively calmly, Jellylorum explained, "Those holes are from my claws. Fix it and play it
 again and they will be in your face. And the only reason the kittens fainted was because
 you started breaking the sound barrier right next to their ears."

"Ya killed it..." Tugger whimpered, dropping onto the ground with an audible thump. He
 turned the bagpipes over in his paws several times, letting out a faint sniffle. "All Cats
 gotta have their shiney things, y'know? Now my shiney thing is gone! Cause'a you!"

"Think of it as a sacrifice for the good of the tribe." The elder Queen's expression
 softened just a bit before she slipped off to elsewhere in the Junkyard.