She Cried Alone
by Alliecallienip


She had everything she ever wanted. A home. A family. A mother. A father.

A father.

She was constantly surrounded by family and friends. For the first time in her life, 
perhaps, she *had* friends. And lots of them. Etcetera, Electra, Cassandra, Tantomile, and 
the ever sweet Jemima. And the toms liked her. Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, Cori, Plato, and 
even the Tugger himself thought she was cute.

And then there was her father.

The adults loved her. Jenny and Jelly were always cooing about her beauty and intelligence. 
Skimbleshanks thought she was sweet and kind. Old Deuteronomy and Gus thought of her as a 
daughter.

And then there was her father.

She set high goals for herself, but always met them. She was the smartest, sweetest, 
kindest, most flexible, prettiest Cat in the Junkyard. She could dance the best, sew the 
best, read and write the best, and even sing the best. Most remarked at how well she 
succeeded.

And then there was her father.

She still wasn't good enough. Never good enough. Oh, is that all you can do? Pathetic! No 
daughter of MINE.... He'd rant and rave, and once even slapped her. But she stood still, 
ashamed. She had failed him. Kept failing. But still everyone loved her...

And then there was her father.

One time her mother caught her crying. Darling, whatever is wrong? But she couldn't choke 
out the truth; didn't even try. Oh, I'm sorry, Dear...I didn't even know you -had- a pet. 
I'm sorry, Dear, you'll miss it, but eventually life will go on. I'm sorry, Dear.

Then she found another soul, mirror imaged to her own. She tried to reach out to it, but was 
shoved away. Her spirit cried out desperately as the stranger voiced her plea. She wanted to 
go to her - touch her - comfort her - reassure her... Somehow she found the courage to touch 
her, despite the others. Comfort her, despite the prejudices. Reassure her, despite her own 
doubt.

And strangely, the others accepted her as well. Even her father, who rarely accepted change. 
But when it came time to escort Grizabella to the Heaviside Layer, she was almost shunned. 
No one spoke to her, acknowledged her. She slunk off by herself, and began to cry.

This time she had affected the entire tribe, and not one had seemed to notice. She was 
ashamed of her tears. This, this was not the Perfect Victoria her father wanted to see!

She fell into a pit of despair, performing her necessary tasks numbly and blindly. Somehow, 
no one noticed. No one saw, even though she was never alone.

Then one night, she reached a decision. Somehow, she would escape, to be by herself forever. 
She couldn't cry anymore - there was always somebody nearby. She wanted to be able to cry 
alone. Forever.

She was in the Junkyard, under a full moon, when she began her solo dance. She knew that at 
the stroke of midnight, a car would careen into the 'Yard, frightening everycat away. 
Macavity would do anything to hurt his brother, even if he helped one young Jellicle queen 
in the process.

Two minutes 'til midnight. Her father grimaced as she made a foolish mistake in her dance. 
She could see him already planning a reprimand for later. Quietly, beside him, Demeter 
planned a gentle rebuttal for Munkustrap's chastisement.

One minute. She was determined to make the rest of her life perfect. She lifted her leg 
higher than ever before, without shaking a bit. She held her form perfectly, waiting for the 
signal flash of headlights that would announce the car.

And then it came. Just as planned, every Jellicle scattered - except for her. She closed her 
eyes, opening her mouth in a silent moan as her body was crushed under the heavy machinery, 
and she slipped into the Heaviside

where she could

finally cry

alone.